| | From Samuel Rutherford to Robert Gordon of Knockbreck, 9 February 1637.
. . . I see that now which I never saw well before:
1. I see faith's necessity in a fair day is never known aright; but now I miss nothing so much as faith. Hunger in me runneth to fair and sweet promises; but when I come, I am like a hungry man that wanteth teeth, or a weak stomach having a sharp appetite that is filled with the very sight of meat, or like one stupified with cold under the water, that would fain come to land but cannot grip anything casten to him. I can let Christ grip me, but I cannot grip him. I love to be kissed, and to sit on Christ's knee; but I cannot set my feet to the ground, for afflictions bring the cramp upon my faith. All that I can do is to hold out a lame faith to Christ like a beggar holding out a stump, instead of an arm or a leg, and cry, 'Lord Jesus, work a miracle!' O what would I give to have hands and arms to grip strongly and fold handsomely about Christ's neck, and to have my claim made good with real possession! I think that my love to Christ hath feet in abundance, and runneth swiftly to be at him, but it wanteth hands and fingers to apprehend him. I think that I would give Christ every morning my blessing, to have as much faith as I have love and hunger; at least I miss faith more than love or hunger.
2. I see that mortification, and to be crucified with the world, is not so highly accounted of by us as it should be. O how heavenly a thing it is to be dead and dumb and deaf to this world's sweet music! I confess it hath pleased His Majesty to make me laugh at the children who are wooing this world for their match. I see men lying about the world, as nobles about a king's court, and I wonder what they are all doing there. As I am at this present I would scorn to scourt such a feckless and petty princess, or buy this world's kindness with a bow of my knee. I scarce now either see or hear what it is that this world offereth me: I know that it is little which it can take from me and as little that it can give me. I recommend mortification to you above anything; for, alas! we but chase feathers flying in the air, and tire our own spirits for the froth and over-gilded clay of a dying life. One sight of what my Lord hath let me see within this short time is worth a world of worlds.
3. I thought courage, in the time of trouble for Christ's sake, a thing that I might take up at my foot. I thought that the very remembrance of the honesty of the cause would be enough. But I was a fool in so thinking, I have much ado now to win to one smile. But I see that joy groweth up in heaven, and it is above our short arm. Christ will be steward and dispenser himself, and none else but he. Therefore now, I count much of one dramweight of spiritual joy. One smile of Christ's face is now to me as a kingdom; and He is no niggard to me of comforts. Truly I have no cause to say that I am pinched with penury or that the consolations of Christ are dried up; for he hath poured down rivers upon a dry wilderness the like of me, to my admiration; and in my very swoonings he holdeth up my head and stayeth me with flagons of wine, and comforteth me with apples. My house and bed are strewed with kisses of love. . .
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| | Posted 2/28/2009 2:42 PM - 6 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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